yeah, of course this post was coming. i think a more proper heading would have been something along the lines of ‘the complete and utter lack of guys in my life’, because honestly, that would be a little more truthful. am i the only high schooler without a romantic interest? i can honestly say that there’s not a single guy in my school that i look at and think that i really want to be with them. i talk to my friends, and they’re all caught up on one person or another, and i just sort of sit there and wonder if my standards are too high, or the guys at my school just suck.
i’ll go into a bit of background information about my history with members of the opposite gender. i’ve had two boyfriends, years ago, in the 7th and 8th grade. i was really happy in my first relationship, but looking at him now, it just goes to show how people change. honestly, i wouldn’t be able to tell you one quality he still possesses to this day that he had back then. i typically don’t like to talk about this relationship because although it was my longest and more successful of the two, it lead to some serious issues with my best friend. everything was so messy back then, all because of him, and i’ll admit i was stupid when it came to dealing with it. he was my first kiss, and i don’t regret that. my second relationship was nothing particularly exciting in the slightest, and it hardly worth mentioning on here although it lasted for two months or something.
and i bring you up to now. i have a great group of friends, and i’m pretty confident with who i am. while i’m not all that caught up on having a boyfriend, it would be nice to have someone i can spend time with like that. i joke around with my friends about dating one guy (he’s a real life sheldon from the big bang theory, it’s uncanny), and while i think he’s fantastic, i don’t know if i could date someone like him. i don’t want to be the person who ‘wears the pants’ in the relationship, if that makes any sense? i’m bad with keeping up with friendships, let alone throwing in that other dimension of romantic interest. with people like him, i would constantly need to work towards building the relationship because i honestly don’t think he has that sort of perception that would allow him to do the same. then there’s another kid, a good friend of the aforementioned boy, who some seem to think has feelings for me. honestly? i don’t agree with them. he’s not much of a socialite, so they assume that since he talks to me willingly, that implies some sort of deeper meaning but in reality, it’s because i go out of my way to talk to him. he’s an interesting kid, but he tends to be ostracized and i hate seeing that.
i’m pretty sure i’m going to be in this weird middle earth of single-hood forever.
